2017-04-24-The Stages of Forgiveness

Session

Lesson

Hezekiah: “Magic does not exist. Things do not happen, appear or disappear by enchantment. Behind every phenomenon, even miracles, there always is an agent, personal or impersonal, material or spiritual, God, angel or human, but there is an agent — even if hidden to human eyes. In the same way, forgiveness does not happen magically. Forgiveness happens when an offense has been committed and the offended is willing to forgive. Forgiveness is a process and it is all about you. Yes, the offender and the offense are the only reasons for forgiveness. The one who goes through the process and its stages is you.

The Prompt for Forgiveness. When someone does something hurtful against you, you always end up injured in some way — be it emotionally, physically, or financially — it always causes an injury. After the realization of injury, two possibilities may prompt you to either internalize the injury, holding the offender accountable to you, or to forgive, to let go of any right to revenge or retribution for the injury caused. The prompt for forgiveness will happen for the great majority of people, sooner or later. However, unfortunately some people who have cauterized their conscience will not feel the need for forgiveness. They will carry the injury indefinitely.

The Decision to Forgive. If you missed the first step, the prompt for forgiveness, you will never get to the remaining ones. Next, it is necessary to take the important decision to forgive. That is mainly a personal, internal, mental and spiritual decision. You resolve to not hold accountable before you the person who injured you. He or she may have to deal with the law and justice for his or her offense, but not with you. A forgiving decision may happen many times during your lifespan, but each one is of crucial importance, not for the offender, but for you.

The Feeling of Forgiveness. Feelings are emotional reactions to meanings. If a thing means bad, you feel bad, if it means good, you feel good. As mentioned before, the process of forgiveness starts and finishes with you. The feeling of forgiveness may at first not be clear, because perhaps the feeling of being hurt by the offender may still be fresh. However, in time when you confirm in your heart the forgiveness given, the healing of the hurt will translate itself into a feeling of sweet peace. That is when you make your peace with that particular offender, the offense and the injury.

Closing

“So, my countryman (because we are from the same planet) forgiveness is a process which does not happen immediately. It goes through a development from realization to finally experience the feeling of forgiveness. The crucial moment for forgiveness is the decision to forgive. The feeling is an eventual consequence of the fact of your having forgiven. Indeed, forgiveness is not to forget the offense. Instead it is to make a firm and unforgettable memory that you have, in fact, forgiven it. I am Hezekiah. I, in my life on Urantia, had to learn to forgive and went through this process many times. Peace!”