Chapter 4/Amnesia Factor
As I drove to Lenora's home for the next session (in August, 1971), I reflected upon something a friend had said to me. We had been on a trip to the high Sierra Nevadas, attempting (unsuccessfully) to locate the wreckage of a private airplane. We were returning, exhausted from high altitude hiking and climbing when I asked him several questions. His knowledge was extensive, and I found the conversation quite illuminating. Then, considering our recent failure to find the dowoed plane, I asked him ifhe might not be somewhat fed up with life on this planet, mindful as we were about the Widespread ignorance, suffering, and limitations that surround us.
"Are you kidding?" my friend had protested, surprised. "Why, this has to be the most fantastic 'school' ever created!"
I recalled having sat silently for a long, long while, slowly digesting this stunning new concept. Imagine having a whole planet for a "school" to study in, to mature in, and to progress in! If true, it would explain much.
As I described the Sierra trip to Lenora, I found myself asking almost impatiently, "Is this planet really a ·school,' and are we here as students, with you serving as faculty?"
You have recognized the fact that many are there to help you at all times, those who are well aware of the pitfalls that you fall into, well aware of those which others have fallen into from time to time through the many centuries past. Do not be so hard on yourself. Be more gentle. Know that many beautiful things are coming to you, and through you. Continue as you go, and know that there is one at your side at all times to help and to guide you. It need not necessarily be those that you recognize, but this is not important. Continue.
Now a glimpse of the truth could be seen. «That rather confirms it," I said. «This planetary 'school' does have guides aud teachers who invisibly help the humau students. We can't see them because their vibrational frequency is too fast for our eyesight. Now I can see the technical meaning of 'spirit.' It means "ultrahigh frequency," and I'm wondering now if Harold aud Herod cau move faster than the speed of light."
It is necessary.
It seemed to me that this answer provided the key necessary to understaud why a separation exists between "students" and "faculty" on this planet. The "ceiling" over the heads of humau students-who dwell in physical-matter bodies-is the limiting speed of light, as taught in physics. And the above auswer suggests that this same speed is the faculty's "/loor," since they stated that it is necessary that they vibrate faster than the speed of light.
To confirm my theory, I asked, "Is the basic reaSOn why we cannot see you due to the fact that your vibrations are faster than the spectrum of Iigh t that our physical eyes can see?
Yes . .. even faster than your mental vibrations. (There was a thoughtful pause). . . to us, even your instantaneous is slow.
We both just sat there, gazing at each other. The impact of such an incredible statement, made so calmly, was beyond description. We took a break.
Lenora had been recalling more of the answers by now, so we had much to talk about. When we discussed the indwelling God-Spark, she remarked that many teachings had been given to reveal to humanity its true potential. Once fused with pure Source energy, it was said that even mountains could be cast into the sea. But few had believed.
Thinking back on the Divine Love that had been so freely bestowed upon those who had become One with the God-Spark, my heart began to ache. It was the paradox of being so close to my Creator, my Divine Architect, and yet not being able to bridge the chasm between mortal min d and the Pure Consciousness of my God-Spark, that caused my inner agony.
Turning wistfully to Lenora, I asked, «I don't suppose you could somehow get me a message-through Herod and Harold- from Him, from my Father-God?"
Lenora started, her eyes reflecting awareness of the magnitude of such a request. Glancing at the intense longing in my eyes, she suddenly relented and said she would try. She closed her eyes and waited.
There was a prolonged silence, to me like a breathless wait for eternity. When Lenora finally opened her eyes, they were overflowing with emotional tears and, very faintly, in the silence of a far, fur dimension, I barely caught the precious few words:
He. . . sends. . . you . . . peace. . . and . . .love.
During August, 1971, I spent considerable time re-thinking what we had learned. Much had been absorbed, yet my impression was one of just beginning to understand the processes underlying humanity's progress in this remarkable planetary 'school.' Replaying the Lenora tapes over and over, I studied the subtle differences as well as the comparative phrasings and tones between the statements coming "through" Lenora versus her own style of speech. There were several obvious points that stood out. Whenever technical or scientific questions came up, Lenora seemed "out of it," but invariably, the answers coming "through" her seemed quite pertinent and concisely phrased. Another point: Lenora seemed sometimes prone to doubts, especially when faced with the implicit 'authority' in the tone and content of their answers. Many times she had protested, "Well, I wouldn't dare make such a statement, but that's what they're giving!" In contrast, those who communicated through her had no such qualms: their statements were highly intelligent, clear (to them), and Huent in a strangely "classic" style. Sometimes, I felt much like a youngster who had wandered into Einstein's private den, asking immature questions and trying to comprehend gentle answers that often sailed over my head. How could the youngster really appreciate the depth of such answers? It became obvious that some of the viewpoints expressed through Lenora were above the human perspective, such as their calm indifference toward good and evil. When questioned, they had simply answered:
What child among you ever reached adulthood without making mistakes? This is the only way in which true growth can take place.
Compared with the human tendency to call another 'stupid,' they had used the delicate phrase: ". . . using less than one's greatest wisdom," a far more gracious way to express it. Another unique facet that reveals itself in their answers is the "essence of practicality." For example, it had been learned that violence is never condoned in their realm, yet when I broached the subject of the human necessity to defend one's family, the answerer wisely stated:
As long as there are those who allow their sheep to stray, others must build fences.
Gradually, I came to underst.~ that, somehow, Herod and Harold could "see" into the essence of things. Their perspective invariably extracted the "meat" from any subject. Still, we had also sensed their love of beauty and truth, their wisdom and patience, their acceptance and tolerance of all. There were times when I'd felt like sitting down with Lenora just to ask questions for days on end, but at the same time, I also realized that man must solve his problems at a pace that parallels his ability to comprehend. This vital factor was eVidently well known by Herod and Harold. When Lenora and I discovered that both guides could literally "see" future probable events in a concrete manner, we asked them to describe some future event that could be checked. Probably smiling, they had wisely replied:
Then you would have tomorrow's knowledge with today's wisdom.
It was in the autumn of 1971 that I first slid into "Grogan's Gulch," my term for a state of depression. There were many factors which caused this plnnge, not the least of which was a deepseated sense of guilt over certain of my life experiences. It was all very well to intellectualize away such torments, but hidden in my subconscious was a child that could in no way rationalize these events and find release. In a word, I felt lousy.
One night, well after midnight, I lay back on the couch and closed my weary eyes. I'd been reading too much lately. Almost instantly, I began to dream very vividly. (This may have been an OOBE.)
The kitchen dishwasher rattled and buzzed loudly; the lower kickplate was loose again. Feeling an impulse to "fix it now," I got up from the couch and went into the garage to get some tools. As I entered the garage, I distinctly heard the sound of rushing water behind me. Thinking that one of the kids might have forgotten to turn off a faucet, I turned towards the comer that contained the washtub. Instead of the tub, my eyes focused on a very large, white toilet bowl! The water was churning and fiushing as if the valve had stuck open! Numbly I turned around, glanced at Betsy (parked in her usual spot), at the workbench with all my tools scattered about, and knew that I was in my own garage, not someone else's. Then my sweeping eyes noticed that the garage floor was green, instead of the usual gray! Standing there, amazed beyond words, I felt a weakness in my legs. Then, slowly (like a slow-motion movie scene, only real), a powerful "force" turned me upside down in a smooth spiral and tossed me headfirst into the concrete floor! As I swirled into, and then right back out of the concrete, much like a child in a pool of water, I felt a warm tingle, an electric sensation throughout my body. Had I not been so stunned by the suddenness of it, I might have enjoyed this smooth romp though solid concrete. Then, just as suddenly, I found myself back on the couch, but "suspended" within my physical bodyl A gradual fusion then took place, lasting many seconds. I was able to feel the process as it developed and was deeply impressed by the exacting 'control' over this remarkable inversion into the flesh body. I then drifted into a deep, profound sleep.
The next morning I phoned Lenora to ask what might have caused the odd dream of the previous night, and why ...
This was to show you the validity of that which you are studying: mind exists without the physical body; matter can be safely penetrated; green is the foundation or floor of understanding; and that which you believe are 'sins' can be washed clean in a twinkling. Do not be disturbed by these demonstrations. Continue with your seeking.
Now I began to understand. That whole series of events had not happened to shake me up, but merely to teach me something, something very valuable. Still, I wondered, who had manipulated such unusual power? When asked, the guides rather calmly and briefly reported:
This was your Divine Thought Adjuster, to help you understand.
At our next session, October 16th, 1971, one·of Lenora's answers stated that man's mind is capable of controlling matter. Not yet having heard of Uri Geller, (who can mentally manipulate physical objects), I said that I rather doubted this answer.
Lenora asked why, so I described two attempts on my part that had proved to be total failures. Very early one morning, stumbling around in the dark, I had aCcidentally pulled on a pair of green socks instead of my usual black. These clashed with my suit so badly that, later on when r d checked into a motel in another city, I attempted to transmute their color from green to black with the aid of an ancient formula extracted from some long forgotten book on alchemy. Then I went to bed, quite certain that when morning arrived, those socks were going to be black! I was thoroughly crushed when the alarm went off and I discovered that my socks were still as green as grass! Another time, I tried to infuse prana, or vital force, into a dying plant, one that J'd hoped to transplant from pot to the garden. The plant didn't respond in the slightest; it just wilted and died.
Lenora laughed at the green sock fiasco, then sobered herself and said she'd try to get an explanation as to why these experiments had failed. The interesting answer came:
Were you doing this with the pure motive of proving that the energy is so, or were you doing this to see if you had the ability to do it yourself? It is important to stop and realize where this power comes from, and for what purpose you are putting it to use. Know that as you do these things with a real need at hand, with a real desire to help or benefit-and not to see the manifestation-then these shall come about. . . (pause). . . it is not necessary that socks change color. Know that the plant may have lived its life and it was time for it to pass on. This is to help you recognize and realize the limitations that are within you, and yet as you turn more lovingly towards these things, they will manifest for you.
Both Lenora and I well knew where the power comes from. Its "Source" is the Divine God-Spark within. As my thoughts turned in this direction, I felt another stab of remorse over my past mistakes, some of which had been beauts. (I'd done my best to make restitution, knOWing that the physical act of making amends can be psychologically healing, but it turned out to be a long process that ended only when I was introduced to meditation.) I asked if guilt or shame could prevent the mind from attuning to its Source?
Only insofar as they are allowed to. They need not, for there is nothing to be truly ashamed of, if man will recall that all the things which he experiences are for his own growth. Nothing is wrong, except those things which have been allowed to be wasted, or to be reaccomplished, time after time. If nothing is gained through an experience, then it is a lost or wasted experience. However, if one gains, no matter how shameful or wrong the situation may appear, it is not something that he need hold to himself.
Lenora added that they were showing her two symbol pictures. The first was: "Water Flowing Under the Bridge," washing white in the downstream rapids. The second: "The Spiral Staircase," that each person climbs step by step throughout life. She said, "It's all right to look back down tbe staircase, to evaluate tbe progress, but not to go back down there and re-live past miseries." She added, "No bigh school student would think of returning to grade school again." I agreed, feeling better. "Experiential wisdom is just another term for, T ve already been down that old route.'"
I asked another question from my notes. "We humans sense that our 'I' dwells in the bead, yet many books describe a 'soul cord' that connects to the heart. What can be given as to this apparent 'gap'?"
The mortal "I" as you speak of it is located in the consciousness, which is in the head or the mind. This is the "I" that you recognize. This is attached by an unseen cord to the heart, for the heart is the seat of the emotion. The emotion is the true being of the soul, the true being of the person. This is why it is so extremely necessary to harness the emotions, to be able to use them in a powerful way, rather than in a destructive way. The heart and "I" are one and the same, although in the human body they appear to reside in different spots. Know that the true "I" is the emotion in the heart.
We then brought up a possible problem area. How could humanity continue its normal way of life if there might be the possibility of being observed, and even recorded, from another dimension? Guessing that in an open, more universal dimension, privacy might be totally unknown, I asked: "What does the term 'privacy' mean to you?"
This would be those areas of life that are for that person, and for that person alone, to be right. It is not necessary that certain areas of your life be shared with any other one person, or any other group of people. There are those areas in all souls, whether they be on the earthplane or in the "between" stages, or in the higher states. Know that all things are not in common, that there are areas and times and places for things to be private.
I felt warmly reassured. They clearly recognized the right of privacy. However, no mention had been made of "recording"
Know that these acts are a part of your own being. They are recorded within the realm of your own mind, for your own review at future times. These are some of the things which are not shared in general with others. This is not something that goes down as a cold hard "fact" into a "record." It is not a noting of minute detail, but the general things which go into a record are your own reactions to situations, your own feelings, your own thoughts about these things. Even these may go on about your own life, and then it is there for you to review at a later time. Do not feel that you are being intruded upon. . . such is not the case.
With great relief I remarked that it should have been obvious, from their gracious tact, that if humans had no wish to invade the privacy of others, how much more those who bad advanced farther. Then I grinned, "Still, it's too bad that Herod and Harold don't pull up on the reins when I start to make some big boo-boo. "
Why? .. you would then not be able to define for yourself those things which you are doing. It is better that you learn through your own . .... boo-boo's . .. because then you are able to better adjust to your own thinking. If you were to be tolc4 or to be stopped from doing certain things, then this would not help you to gain, nor would your inner strength come forth.
Lenora added, "This would be an excellent answer .to those people who are forever asking, "Why does God allow pain, hurt, and suffering to afflict His children, if He truly loves themP" And also, there are some parents who might profit from such an answer, those who are afraid to allow their children to freely experience what life has to offer." I pointed out that to interfere with man's free will, his free experimental learning process, would negate the very purpose for which this planetary "school" was created I continued with my questions, some of which probed the area of "power."
Is the principle that science terms 'laser,' or the stimulated amplification of light energy, the principle by which you use energies ?"
We draw from even higher sources, and convert to that which is lower than ourselves . .. thus the condensing down . ..
It is only necessary to visualize the tremendous pressure available from a small spigot mounted near the bottom of a very large water tank, to see the area I was interested in probing. I had long been aware that "the higher you go, the greater the forces," such as the case of a steel crowbar which can be cut in two by a mere gas, (the acetylene cutting torch,) But higher still, a mere "light"-the industrial laser-can slice through steel like butter. Also, the laser can be adapted to extremely fine work, such as the welding of tiny eye tissues.
One evening at home, a golden-haired little boy appeared at the front door, shyly offering to sell baseball booster tickets. Heart melting, I went off to find my wallet. During the search, a scream of terror sent me racing back. I found tbat one of tbe dogs bad slipped down tbe hall to see wbo had rung the doorbell. Tbe boy was panic stricken, and notbing I could do or say seemed to calm him down. When the shaking lad finally departed, I (forgetting about negative karma) growled at the rest of the family about "untrained dogs" that went about frightening innocent little kids. Wben I eventually began to remember the possible negative reactions that might result from my negative growling, I exclaimed, "Oops!" and laid our biggest fire extinguisher on the kitchen counter in plain sight. I then warned everybody to watch out for earthquakes, fires, floods, the roof caving in, or any other possible catastrophes. The rest of that doubting bunch exploded with laughter. But three days later, the boomerang returned.
